DISQUS

swiv · 12 months ago

Where do these statements come from?

a couple of places. weak ass dudes. women trying to make themselves feel better for being single.

Is being professional that intimidating to potential daters?

not if you're confident in what you bring to the table. i personally prefer a professional, well educated woman. but i bring quite a bit to the table as well. but i've always been expected to bring a certain caliber of woman home, anyway.

Does being thought of as being intimidating hurt you in the long run on the dating scene?

if you go out of your way (i.e. purposefully overbearing) to intimidate, then yes. but that in itself is rooted in insecurity, anyway. if you're a strong, confident person, not with the right person.

Are men really ready for a woman with a Type A personality?

yes. but can a type a woman deal with a type a man?

MaskedDebater · 12 months ago

The respond to your questions.
People are intimidated by young professionals in large part due to the fact that people don't know how to relate to people who are YOUNG WITH A CLEAR FOCUS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS. The biggest source of intimidation is self inflicted because people compare their personal progress to that of the professionals.
It hurts a lot of professional womeon on the dating scene, in that a lot of men who could potentially GROW INTO BEING THE HEAD OF HOUSE ELIMINATE THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT PREPARED. Being a "head of house" man is not something that can be flipped on like a light switch. It is something that must be grown into. For a lot of men during the journey of figuring out what it is to be "HOH" a professional woman presents challenges that a lot of us are not capable of dealing with.
A woman who has a Type of A personality must find a man that commands her respect. Personally I would imagine that it would benefical that her partner is a Type B who has the presence.
Yes there are things that professional women can do to appear less intimidating, one of the most visible things can be to not draw attention to the lifestyle that she has. What I mean "if I'm a coach guy and you are a business or first class gal and you are forceful about the issue it can present problems."

SDot · 12 months ago

Soooo....since I have heard this argument/comment waaaay too many times over the last year, I thought Id weigh in on it. A) I love your blog, you come up with good topics:) B) I think while there are some guys that are intimidated by women who make more money than them, the argument of "b/c I have a career and I am single, must mean that guys are intimidated is ridiculous. I am hard pressed to find any guys in my circle that are running away from any "professionals". They are however, running away from jerks, loud mouths, arrogant numbskulls who use their degree as a replacement for a personality, C) Finally, the sad truth is that the numbers are so skewed that even if every "black professional man" was perfect (ie not intimidated by "professional black women"), there would still not be enough to go around. And to me thats the real issue that really is being ignored in this conversation...I will now get off my soapbox...thank you for the platform..lol...

Sunfresh · 12 months ago

On the flip side, I'm well educated but I recently came across a fellow that was highly decorated with Ivy League degrees (plural), well traveled, president of this that or the other. While I'm intrigued, I find my own insecurities coming out to play. Am I intellectual enough? Am I involved enough? Could I hold his attention? I imagine that men feel the same when they come across a woman that is the professional black woman.

Miss Journey · 11 months ago

What I've noticed is that some men are turned off by professional women because some of these women give off the "I don't need you/I'm better than you" vibe. It may not always be intentional, but a snooty attitude is definitely a turn off. As women, we have to master the balancing act between confidence and humility. It helps to present oneself as a fun and inviting personality before sharing one's accomplishments. One of the highest compliments for me is "Wow you have a lot going on, and you're cool too."

I also think that songs like "Miss Independent" and "She Got Her Own" may cause a slight shift in the perception of successful women :)