The P.O.S.H. Life - Latest Comments in Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Double Speak Anyone? — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 04:51:05 -0000

Thanks for dumbing down so that everyone could easily understand your complex explaination.... :-D I know you may not be accustomed to communicating with non-exclusives like ourselves...but thanks for shedding the light...LOL

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

waistingtime — Fri, 22 May 2009 14:13:13 -0000

there are two kinds of women those whos brains have some kind of activity going on and know how to seperate triggerd sexual atraction from real masculinity and those who cant seperate these two things ...So they wil fal for any boy who learned how to hide his imaturity...Thugs are realy just boys,they think like boys now the problem with the square men is they get to emotional about things so they kind of like ...FEMALES...So the misses chooeses the one that is closesd to the man ..The boy wich is the thug !Real men are rare so are real females!It takes an imature individual to love another imature individual ...Its a jungle out there and thats just nature Exclusivity is meant to remain exclusive ......(excuse my writing didnt i quit school when i whas 15)

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Maine — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:27:17 -0000

Claudette Jameson

I have also dated the good guys. Was in school, had his own car, had a job,he was doing his thing, but that was just too much for me. I was honestly intimidated by him.

And that raises a question. Are females intimidated by guys who are not thugs? Who they say "appear to have a stick up their ass". Do they feel like they are not good enough to compare to a mans accomplishments?

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Maine — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:22:35 -0000

Then that isnt a Thug...

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Maine — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:18:34 -0000

6."couldn’t change a tire if you paid them 3 times what AAA was charging' (call me next time I can use that $100 to buy me some new tires on my car)

The sad thing is, she wants a mechanic who can change tires but not a man who could help her with a government grant and subsides to get her dream home. The typical thinking of our race. It's sad actually.

Your car want start so you use the broke mind thinking. Your "Bad Boy, Thug" will play around under the hood trying his hardest to fix your car. Then he will call his broke friends who are good to you because they are thugs/bad boys and they will bring beer and then you have a group of broke minded thugs/bad boys who still won't fix it. Eventually you'll call AAA and get the work done. The bowtie cat would have said, look I need to go to a meeting, meet up with some people, let's go to a resteraunt, let's go out of town what ever and let AAA take care of that car, we have 2 others so don't worry.

But instead of that setting, you want the one you mentioned in the above post. It's not the bowtie guy isn't good enough for you, you're not good enough for the bowtie guy. Sorry.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Maine — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:09:25 -0000

This is a female who knows what she wants. I read the other answers who justified wanting a bad "boy" lol. And I was waiting for the answer of a woman. Not from "girls". Thank you so much Masha +5 for your answer.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

retractable awnings — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 00:22:21 -0000

I think having both traits is a cool thing for most women..

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Claudette Jameson — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:29:08 -0000

I've been with all types of guys and I've came to the conclusion that I like my guys half and half, and I really believe those are the best kind. I have dated the real thug dudes. The gang related thug guys,and I just didn't feel comfortable with him. We weren't on the same level. I was moving up and he was too busy with staying where he's at and running his hood. Plus he cheated on me.

I have also dated the good guys. Was in school, had his own car, had a job,he was doing his thing, but that was just too much for me. I was honestly intimidated by him. He was a really sweet guy and was devoted to me, but it was just too much of a good thing and I couldn't handle that.

The guy I'm with now is a little bit of both. He's thug, but he has a job and he's respectful, and he's trying to better his life.Like the good guy he is really sweet and respectful, and that makes being around him addicting. He's the perfect guy.

But to be honest, if I had a good guy and a thug guy standing in front of me side-by-side, and I had to choose, I would choose the thug. Just because they are usually cuter and I just feel safe around them.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Nia — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:06:11 -0000

I am ignoring the pink elephant in the room....tiptoeing out the back door, walking sideways.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Jock Roqoff — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:13:24 -0000

Am I the only one questioning whether Smartenup didn't just make up this SoSensual24 character? I mean, I haven't seen dickriding like that since Janet Jacme got out of porn. Either that, or you got a groupie, bruh. Enjoy.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Nia — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:19:11 -0000

I believe part of your reply is confused "checking me and putting me in my place" was not and will never be a phrase used by me. I don't date thugs...I merely made case for why "some" women find " "thugs" appealing. However, I do know males on ALL levels...and just as many black men feel it is a sad state of affairs with a lot of sisters, I feel the same about my brothers. And the biggest complaint is with the condescending attitude of the "educated" non-thug brothers. The majority of the men I date/have dated grew up with their fathers in the house and their attitudes toward women are the worst...not meant for debate, merely expressing my opinion based on my experiences.....

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

qeenjb67 — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 20:32:09 -0000

Every woman gets a little excited by the bad boy factor. It helps to keep things interesting in and out of bd. i don't think most women want a thug. maybe girls but not women. We want brothers that bring morw to the table than a bd attitude and a saggy pair of jeans.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Sosensual24 — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:28:14 -0000

Wow this has been quite the debate which Ive read in on carefully before choosing sides & all n all I gotta say Smartenup killed that shit his arguments were valid, well written, & inarguable. Great job Smartenup for leaving the sort of commentary that is sure to leave at least the sensible portion of the black community in thought of what traits we associate with, as well as pass down to our young men in regards to the fulfillment of manhood. Oh yea & your first comment was really funny too, ever thought of getting into comedy?

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Jock Roqoff — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:35:49 -0000

Smartenup:

The fact that you're casting your lot with a guy that got rejected, and crying about "so called educated black women" and how cofusing they are speaks volumes about your own communication skills. As far as your interpretation of my political analogy, I wouldn't much expect someone of your ilk to understand. What I'm saying is I go for the "take me as I am" school rather than the "Oh, let me mold myself to try to be what you want" school that you went graduated with honors from. Both me and my girl are quite pround of her butt. And unlike you, We don't let the prospect of negative attention keep us hiding under a rock in case some uncouth person acts inappropriately. Having been to the highest of the highbrow and the lowest of the low, trust me, intoxicated dudes will try women regardless of socioeconomic status. I've seen some of the most outlandish shit at establishments of "elegance and class." So you keep on THINKING about how you're gonna let some dude punk you in front of your woman. My girl and I will be kicking it and having fun in the club, unconcerned about getting tried. Your obsession with making everything "thuggish" is kinda funny. Seems like it's a whole generation of educated black dudes that are so scared of confrontation, they piss their pants at the thought of even being assertive. So y'all try to make yourselves feel better by trying to marginalize anything Alpha male-ish as thuggery. I mean, I'm here to help. If you want to learn how to change a tire, I'll help you out.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Smartenup — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 02:09:57 -0000

So Jack... Let's examine.

It's corny to ask a girl "what type of guy she likes?"
See this question serves two purposes: one- To get the girl talking (this is a conversation) and two- (you're right) To get an understanding of the girl and see if ya'll are compatible. This waste nobody's time and it shows the girl that your are interested in her thoughts.

Or we can do what you said: "campaigning with some balls.... candidates she usually votes for, he’d be pitching the strength of his own platform" (What the hell are you saying???) I guess you're saying that- you will not conversate with her, but you will just run down your list of qualifications and hope she likes you (So basically the "Hey Look at Me" routine) Very Classy there Buddy - WTF -This is a poor platform JACK because you give the girl all the power to either reject or accept you without you getting any information from her. You basically lost your chance to see what she likes, and to see if you two have anything in common. You failed to engage your audience. You change the conversation from "Yes WE Can" to "B***h just listen to what I got to say". Jack you're going to lose a lot of votes that way.

"Jack Roqoff, you're no Jack Kennedy" - (my polysci graduates are laughing at you right now)

And on a final note, (...I wonder how your girl feels about you saying she got a "big ol' ass" - SMH) A real man would resort to violence only as the last option, especially when he's with someone he loves. A real man would have used prudent judgement by (a) Not taking his girl to an "ass grabbing club" (in your case a "big ol' ass grabbing club) but one of elegance and class or (to use your term) "check" her before she walked out the house on her "tight ass" outfit. A real man will try to keep his love ones out of harms way by THINKING FIRST.

And yes, "man" is a key element in being a gentleman. So please put away your childish acts like "campaigning with some balls", calling out your girl's ass, and slapping the shit out of everyone in the club. Use common sense like a real man and put away these childish "Thug" antics.

So in the end it's very obvious, "You don't know JACK $%&# !!!"

Peace Smartenup.
And to Nia, I really appreciate your honest opinions. My response is in no way an attack on you as a person. For all I know, you could be a really great person.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Jock Roqoff — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:24:54 -0000

Smartenup:

First: You got owned by Nia in this little war of words y'all developed.

Second: "and most importantly he asks her “what does she look for in a guy?” See this is the most important part in COMMUNICATION"

That might be the most sucka-ass statement I've ever heard. In fact your whole comment basically read as a treatise in defense of sucka-ass dudes. That's not communication, that's a corny ass line, and dude got what he deserved for it. Basically, he went fishing for her to describe a dude with his characteristics and then threw a hissy fit when she didn't. If he was campaigning with some balls, he wouldn't be worried about what kind of candidates she usually votes for, he'd be pitching the strength of his own platform. On a final note, if someone grabbed my girl's big ol' ass, I wouldn't hesitate to slap the shit out of them in the club. And then check her for wearing that tight ass dress. We may be gentlemen, but we need not forget the key in that word is the men part.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Smartenup — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 21:20:28 -0000

Nia,

See your last sentence I agree with - Being sociable, educated, and confident are traits and characteristics that everyone wants in a mate be it male or female. See where I disagree with you and the commenters is the attribution of these traits to a "Thug". A Thug is a hoodlum by definition. A "thug" is a criminal, delinquent, gangster, murderer, rioter, and an overly violent person in nature.
See what confuses a lot of brothers is when black girls find "thug" traits as desirable, sexy even.
See Nia, I can tell by your writing that you are a good communicator - maybe more so than I am- and that's the key to long lasting relationships. COMMUNICATION. See in the above article the Brother went over and started the conversation with the black woman - So he's attempting to be sociable, and he's confident enough to approach her. I'm not so sure about buying the drink part but maybe he's trying to be nice. Then he shares with her information about himself - he works for the government- and most importantly he asks her "what does she look for in a guy?" See this is the most important part in COMMUNICATION - attempting to understand the person in which you are having a conversation with. See in long term relationships you are constantly trying to understand your mate. You are constantly sharing with your mate. Notice I said sharing and not taking and looking at it for only your benefit.
So I said all that to say this... In your comments like "defending your honor", other comments like "checking me and putting me in my place"... are all traits that shows your man's "AGGRESSIVE AND VIOLENT" characteristics. Let's be real, how many times is a man going to have to exhibit these traits - very rarely (unless ya'll club all time and live in the middle of the hood.) And when it does rarely happen trust me 99% of the men (regardless of race) would sacrifice their body to protect a loved one. BUT THE ONE TRAIT THAT NO BLACK WOMAN ON THIS PAGE COMMENTED ON WAS COMMUNICATION. THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN A LASTING RELATIONSHIP. See what you Nia and other black women fail to realize is that young black men without a father in the their home and a black mother who has the same fucked up mentality as you, are teaching their sons that the "Thug trait" is the eminent trait that a male should bring to a relationship. YA'LL ARE NOT TEACHING YOUR SONS DIRECTLY BUT INDIRECTLY BY SAYING "THUGS ARE SEXY", "THUGS KNOW HOW TO HANDLE ME", "THUGS KNOW HOW TO PUT IT DOWN". You see that is destroying young men from building lasting relationships, because they are not developing the right trait - COMMUNICATION.
Now you and your daughter are 25 plus and wondering where the honest, sharing, available men are. There is a direct correlation to the rising incarceration rate, the high divorce rate, and single parent households to the above statements. These statements are destroying black america. Black women you are putting the wrong things first when it comes to a relationship.
And see here's the great thing about this article. The man was educated enough and developed enough that he asked the right questions to figure out that this woman was not for him. He found out that even though she was working on her Masters Degree (which most guys would have thought they've hit the jackpot) she was not capable of sustaining a long lasting relationship because of her mentality.

So SMARTENUP BLACK WOMEN

P.S. Nia...using the threat about dating other races is played out. It's 2008 and you can date whoever you like.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Rogue — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:49:17 -0000

I go for nerds who know how to check me, as well as others, when needed. Whatever you want to label this man...go for it.

I do not go for men with criminal records or who are jobless, homeless, etc.

A good FICO score and a wall of degrees is the new sexy for me. Saggy pants are ghei.

The end.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

CocoaDiva — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:46:52 -0000

Even Montell Jordan and his soft sangin behind just called himself a thug...people are truly confusing the word.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Nia — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:17:29 -0000

PS for the record, when I am talking about a thug, I don't mean the Jadakiss, Lil Wayne kind of character. I mean a man from the streets but not of the streets. A social chameleon...Educated, poised and full of "swagger".

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Nia — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:04:24 -0000

Smartenup....

Wow.."so called educated" women...Interesting...The reality is that "so-called" educated, professional brothers are generally so damn condescending, self righteous, arrogant and full of themselves that their attitude coupled with their lack of sensitivity almost makes it more appealing for a "so called educated" woman to take her chances with a thug.

The attitude my supposed "upper echelon" black brothers exhibits continually causes me to rethink my stance on dating outside of my race.

"a punk ass drink" is a new "flava", only sold at establishments frequented by and can only be offered by my "think they got it together" brothers. Unlike the standard alcholic beverages a few "punk ass drinks" will usually leave you with a bad taste in your mouth, a sense of obligatory conversation, and overwhelming desire to reimburse the purchaser just to have him leave you alone.

protecting her honor (Do you want a man or a Samurai???), Well let me explain so you can remove the animated element from your response. If my man was every in a situation and a woman was disrespectful or out of line, there would never be a question as to my actions, The Secret Ninja in me would appear handle the situation and I return to my normal demeanor.

And for the finale...being equally yoked in a relationship is a beautiful thing. So your entire rant about "(Do you want to date the Welfare System???- Damn I should have taken that government job" just further reiterates the ignorance I have witnessed from my "educated professional brothers". If the man I am in a relationship with normally handles his responsibilities beyond compare and he fell on hard times and was in need of my help to sustain while he refinds his way, I would have pen and check book in hand to help him need be. Doesn't make him less of a man, me better than him or "us" questionable. It wouldn't make him a "welfare" case but someone that I care about that in normal circumstances wouldn't be in this situation. So again the arrogance and condescending attitude about a situation that could easily befall the best of us, renders your compassion non-existent. In most circumstances a thug wouldn't look down on someone in that situation because he is all too aware of the chances it could be him...

Regards,

Nia

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

smartenup — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:40:03 -0000

First off, Great blog and topic. Secondly, what's hilarious to me are these wild scenarios that "so-called" educated black women are coming up with -

1. "don’t want our man to run faster than us or scream louder than us!! - (How fast do you run the 100meters??? Are you dating Usain Bolt??? If ya'll both screaming how can you tell who is louder???)

2. "I want a man who will stick up for me if someone grabs my ass at the club" (Is your ass that big??? Are you a stripper and need a bouncer??? Maybe you shouldn't go to a club where T.I., Young Jezzy, and Lil Wayne are performing on the same night..)

3. "A man who knows how to flip it up and serve it raw when I need it." - Huhh??? LMAO (Is he making pancakes??? - damn I'm hungry now- I hope he didn't serve it raw to too many girls because he might have something)

4. "What’s wrong with having a man who has a bowtie made out of wifebeater material?" - No comment that was funny

5. "...but sometimes thugs understand the principals of treating a woman like a woman, including buying her a punk ass drink (is that a new flava???), protecting her honor (Do you want a man or a Samurai???), and giving her a helping hand financial assistance when hard times hit" (Do you want to date the Welfare System???- Damn I should have taken that government job.)

6."couldn’t change a tire if you paid them 3 times what AAA was charging' (call me next time I can use that $100 to buy me some new tires on my car)

7. Paraphrasing - "protect me if I'm walking down a dark alley..' (why are you in a dark alley??? Do you live in the ghetto??? Newspapers and cardboard is not a house???)

To all the fellows out there, JUST BE YOU. If these women are into you then they will make you a figment of their imagination (you see how wild their imaginations are). So if you're not a thug and she likes you then she will probably make you up in her mind as a guy that "has a little thug in him". If you are a "true blue thug" (I don't know what the hell that means ask Toni), then she will rationalize in her mind that "he's an intelligent thug" - (women please stop using this one). SO JUST BE YOU FELLOWS. Because no human or animal is just one way. If pushed they will react. If loved they will react. Some people have more extreme limits than others but we all will react to something.

Peace
Smartenup

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Ed the Sports Fan — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:41:00 -0000

I'm gonna do my best to answer these questions...fairly and honestly

1. Men, does this messs really happen on a regular basis? Without a doubt yes, of course this doesn't apply to all women or I'd be single right now...however, I would say that a lot of the women I've dealt with have said something very similar to what "Keith" mentioned. The problem is that when a woman says that, then to us we paint the picture of something WE aren't. If I'm in the club/social gathering/mixer etc and have on collared shirt/slacks ensemble and chick gives me a vibe that i'm 'too soft' then my perception is she want a rappin/hood/talkin out the side of my neck type dude. Thus the reason that you really can't get to know anyone in the club. Its just not in your best interest. Its too loud, tons of people, different motives, and so forth.

#2. My argument for this is the same argument that makes survival of man what it is. Its all about convenience. If a woman is in the club looking fellatious and initiating the conversation, then yes, we might step and prepare to wear it out. Other times not so much. Most men are either just living it up or actively looking for "the one." But convenience and shift that at a moment's notice. I can be looking for "the one" then a bust down approaches...why should I decline? Again this is the average thought process from the male perspective. Just my thoughts...

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Toni — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:23:52 -0000

I for one do not want a thug. Any dictionary will tell you a thug is a violent person, especially a crimial. The word denotes a negative connotation. Sure, I want someone who exudes confidence, agression and even a little swagger, but not a true blue thug. My daddy is not a thug. He's an educated black man who can still handle his. Sorry Jadakiss, every woman does not want a thug.

Re: Every Good Woman Needs A Thug?

Masha — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:30:17 -0000

I don't want a thug, what could he give me? What could he teach me? I think i wouldn't even able to have a conversation with him, and bad boys exactly what they are called "boys" with lots of personal issues and this is why they are bad. I like to look up at the man, admire and respect him. I like men who know how to handle their business in any situation, who can take responsibilities for whatever they did, who are not only smart, but wise too and this dosen't come with education and who dosen't give a damn what others think when it comes to either love, fun or expressing himself. Appearance is only important to the point that he keeps his body in shape and clean. Swagger makes a man attractive, not cute face or abs. I fell for guys who my mom called ugly, but their strength, swagger and the way they treated me would change her mind very soon.