The P.O.S.H. Life - Latest Comments

Re: He Who Finds a Wife and Modern Dating

Jesse — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:46:41 -0000

I understand the Bible and its words on this. I understand about taking risks. But ladies will never understand how old the rejection gets. I also think that the 3/10 figure is pretty high.

Re: Marriage is Against Human Nature?

Andrea_Victoria — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:00:23 -0000

You're right, i was being glib.

Re: Marriage is Against Human Nature?

Poly Friend — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:17:46 -0000

Polyamory is not just 'hoe'ing around without getting married' as you put it. For those that are truly polyamorous it is a conscious choice to engage in ethical non-monogamy. Seeking out relationships that are intimate on many levels, not just sexually. You can have a poly relationship that has not sexual component to it. As you state, it should most definitely verbalized, but also negotiated and consensually agreed to.

There are most definitely married people who are polyamorous. Jenny Block, who is poly advocate is one such person. Marriage, as well as any committed relationship, can include polyamory as a component. Poly = many, amoury = loves. Many Loves. I am assuming that people love the ones they are making a marital commitment too, right?

Here is a great Google Knoll article on Polyamory:

http://knol.google.com/k/james-o-neill/polyamor...

For both males and females non-monogamousness is a part of who we are. Generally men here the call more strongly that women. For many it is easy to choose monogamy especially with society's built in expectations for it, but for a minority of others the call seems antithetical to their very being. Human sexual relationships span the range of celibate to totally non-committal non-monogamy and everything in between, but the far majority pick some sort of committed relationship, whether married or not.

I think you have a very important point that our relationship expectations are not following with humanities full range of relationship models, and to purport that only one is acceptable does great harm and this needs to be fixed before and true progress can be made.

Re: The Engagement Ring Is The Thing?

PierreLavoisier — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:05:26 -0000

I think that buying a ring is something that should match your paycheck. If you can't afford something and your girlfriend doesn't understand that then find a girl that understands that. It could save you a lot of money and trouble. The ring is mainly a symbol and the fact that some women talk about the acceptable size makes me want to bang my head against a wall and I have only thing to show for them: mens diamond ring. How many of you ladies thought about buying one of these for you sweet boyfriend?

Re: Casual Sex Is Screwing Relationships

minusthebars — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:12:28 -0000

I think casual sex has both revived and killed relationships. If you've experienced casual sex, then, some people, seek a steady relationship even more.

Re: Marriage is Against Human Nature?

Andrea_Victoria — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:28:29 -0000

monogamy is a decision. so is polygamy, or, what is more common these days, polyamory (tha's when your just hoeing w/o getting married first and everybody involved knows about it and is ok with it). Whether its 'outdated' or not is a question of both social construction and personal values, which of course strongly overlap. The truth of the matter is that there are now more unmarried women in the US than married - and that's according to the Census. That's a historical first. So reality is not matching social expectation that women grow up to marry. Still, many women feel like failures if they don't live up to that standard. This means that we have internalized social values that do not match reality.

Also real is that more people are choosing same sex partners, intentional single parenthood, and other non-traditional relationships and family structures. So again, is the problem that our social expectations need to catch up to reality? Or, perhaps, its more of a choice now to disentangle your personal expectations and standards from the 1950's nuclear hetero-normative model.

Whatever you decide about your personal decisions, value and models of integrity (i.e., making sure that if you choose non-monogamy, you inform your partners of this - otherwise you just a dog!), its important that you recognize how and why you are rejecting the 'norm'. That's the only way that the social dialog can really begin to evolve.

Re: Product Review: Herbal Essence Hello Hydration

safe weight loss — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:44:22 -0000

For me herbal products are much better to use. I also thought that expensive products are much better to use but now I prefer to use herbal products because I'm getting a lot of benefits. Now, I can save big amount of money, and I have a healthy body.

Re: I Wont Date A Woman Who Can’t Cook

MeaganS — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:21:38 -0000

Amen! What on Earth gives a man the right to tell me what I should or shouldnt know how to do. I would never want to date a man that had that narrow of thinking either.

Re: I Wont Date A Woman Who Can’t Cook

MeaganS — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:12:12 -0000

You are going to have her "trained"????? Thats an insult! Ever think that maybe you should take a few classes and learn how to cook for yourself?

Re: Jeezy Says No to Keyshia: Top 10 Reasons Why Men Won’t Jump The Broom

teachtw — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:02:04 -0000

Interesting post. I have made a twitter post about this. Hope others find it as interesting as I did.

Re: I’m Not Fat, I’m Thick: Black Women in Media (Toccara, Beyonce, Queen Latifah, Monique)

shelontaecarter — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:58:07 -0000

I would like to just respond that we as black people/women first have to be informed about what to eat, drink and cook and to actually (as sad as it may be) taught how to properly cook and prepare food. I have found that as a black woman (carribean decent) that alot of why we are obese and have a malfunctioned mentality of thinking relating to weight in general is because we think that we can name it "thickness". Most black women as well as black people have been raised on the "droppings of slavery eatings". The way in which we cook and the amount of what we do eat is very unhealthy. If we as a people change this then, slowly by slowly we can change our lives and the lives of the next generation. I am currently 5'5" and 170lbs. I walk for 1.5 hours 3 times a week and I have completely changed my eating habits along with my preparation habits. I am WELL shaped and TONED. But, I am not finished! I have very little body fat and hardly a pinch of tummy but, I am not done with me and my healthy lifestylye that will hopefully last a lifetime pertaining to my life. I used to be very small and very athletic when in high school and middle school. I enjoyed the weight but, I rather live longer. It is true that skinny women can be unhealthy because I have a 17 year old daughter and a 36 year old female cousin that are both unhealthy. I have my daughter to run the track with me and she nearly fell out at 110lbs!

We as black women do have to love ourselves but, it starts with researching what is proper for us to eat and what not to eat. Changing those eating habits will help and slow down on the sweets and the snacking. Find an outlet to release the stress in a healthy manner to combat the belly fat horome that is triggered when stress is present in our lives. When we take into effect our status quo in this country of the USA and the foods that come at us stemming from the fast food and then some, then WE as a people have to take into account of what we are buying in the grocery store, how we cook it, how we grow from it, and best of all, how will it be processed in our bodies and the after effect of that enjoyment of the food that we just consumed. So, I leave us with this in mind:

"I am hungry, so what can I eat that is healthy for me and that will satisfy me without looking for death early caused by my own hands?"

Re: My Current Favorite Gym Machines

mauriceraviola — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:32:41 -0000

I think the machines in a gym are not the same for evreybody. I mean some people just my like/enjoy marching the band or other machines like that before hiting the real weights.I think it depends from case to case.

______________________________

Legal Steroids

Re: The Engagement Ring Is The Thing?

Swarovski — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:44:28 -0000

Under modified, the fiancee can demand the return of the ring unless he breaks the engagement. Under strict rule, the fiancee is entitled to the ring returned unless his actions caused the breakup of the relationship. Under no-fault, the fiancee is always entitled to the return of the ring.

Re: The Dangers of Too Much Salt (Sodium) in Your Diet

tabathalupien — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:23:09 -0000

Salt or sodium is vital for all living creatures. For humans, if used in excess it can cause cardiovascular problems and hyper tension. Also I read a free diet plan saying that salt also keeps water in our body and all the toxins that would be flushed otherwise. We all should try and keep track of our salt consumption every day.

Re: He’s Afraid: Incomprehensible Ramblings of an Infatuation Junkie

Name — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:00:18 -0000

I believe these are the reasons for which some men choose not to be in a commited relationship. However, it is still to be said that when a man is ready, he puts all of these fears aside, even being aware of them, and decided to cultivate something more mature and meaningful with the woman he loves

Re: Facebook and Instant Messaging Do Not Equal Dating

lilaleon — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:01:21 -0000

so true!
thank you for this.
i really thought i was the only one going through this.
you've helped me realize how to get over this guy!

thank you again!

P.S. i too overuse LOL and my emoticons.

Re: Week 2: NYLA Southerner’s Weight Loss Journey

Acne Treatment — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 06:47:13 -0000

I have mentioned and suggested to my business partners about working from home so I can get proper sleep. Also, I hint on eating before we get to meetings so only thing we need to do is get down to business and then depart.

Re: The Key to Killer Legs…

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Re: Starting Over Week 3 Weightloss Chronicles

hautehairgurl — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 20:36:39 -0000

Keep up the great work! I heard TJ and 30DS are tough as hell!! I'm so scared to get either one. I've taken a baby step and bought the Biggest Loser Workout Vol. 1 and Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga. So far I've only did the yoga but that junk kicked my butt! If you get them, please let us know what you think.

Re: The Dangers of Too Much Salt (Sodium) in Your Diet

Herbal5 — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 12:10:48 -0000

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Re: Maxwell Concert Review

LouiseBacks — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 06:50:06 -0000

One of my long standing dreams was to attend Maxwell concerts. . I know all the words of his songs by heart …well he is performing this year. Next weekend I’m going to visit my sister and we will attend Maxwell concert; I've just compared tickets prices at Ticketsreview.com
http://www.ticketsreview.com/concerts/
OMG I can’t wait til I see Maxwell live!!!

Re: National Martini Day!

lemonadediet — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 04:05:35 -0000

woww! thank a lot ,,

Re: Casual Sex Is Screwing Relationships

uncontainable_spirit — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:19:24 -0000

We're not saying anything different. Or at least it seems that way. I'm saying that you should model yourself after men. You're saying that you should model yourself after men. My stance is that men should not listen to what women tell them about what men should and should not be doing. You have not contradicted that.

I never disregarded the positive effects of the 'insight' of women. My position wasn't regarding insight. I personally believe that a man is approx 70% masculine and 30% feminine and conversely a woman is 70% feminine and 30% masculine. So to be a complete man... you have to have that 30% of 'insight' from the woman's perspective. A man that doesn't have that at all fails as a man. 70% is not a passing grade.

My overarching point is that only men can teach boys to be men. There is no way that women can teach boys to be men because women aren't men. Are the insights of women valuable? Yes. Are women to be treated with love, respect, and admiration? Yes. Should women tell men what they should and shouldn't be doing in order to be men? How can they? The same is true with women... men should have no say whatsoever in the abortion debate because it's a woman's body. We cannot even begin to understand. We can provide insight on what we want in a woman and what we like or dislike... but that's about it. Furthermore... I dare you to try to do anything other than give your opinion. Women will not accept men telling them how to be women. It's time for men to do the same.

Re: Casual Sex Is Screwing Relationships

mystiphi — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:05:41 -0000

Actually, I disagree. While we model ourselves after other men (be they good or horrible), women have to communicate what their expectations are of their partner and we the same. While men (fathers, uncles, mentors, big bros) can teach us why GQ is important for a man, it is the women (mother, grandmother, big sis, best female friend) that can give insight on why a women finds those same things as important and why they seek them in their man. With two perspectives, a man or woman can make the best judgement of what they want and decide.
As far as committment goes, it has to be a good fit. " when the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear" is the old saying. I see people decide to commit, but their person was three people and some exes later. Take your time, explore, and be patient. When they show up, you'll know it.

Re: Men and PDA

mystiphi — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:31:47 -0000

First off, this has nothing to do with feminism (oops, wrong article).

Any way, to get technical, cuffing of the arms is way a good way of saying " i like and respect you, and we are just boo thang, dating, or even good friends".
Holding hands is sign of a deeper respect or relationship. Sadly, I rarely see this. I see more couples walking with the women on the cell texting, and the brothers pulling up their pants.
I think there has been a decline in overall GQ (gentlemen quality). To see other guys get of the car, walk to a building and wait on their girl who is still in the car is a big NO NO, but no one in the situation sees a problem with it. I guess I am one of a few people out there that see this as a sign that there is no respect in the relationship or self-respect.
Holding hands is a cool thing. Don't rush it. Want for it.