19 comments

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  Jock Roqoff

  7 months ago

  Tried to sneak in and publish this while I wasn't looking and make me look the bad guy, eh, Gordon? As usual, you're way off base. I'm talking about not vomiting out your private relationships wherein they don't affect the current one. You're talking about "her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds." I'm talking about if I'm flying Delta exclusively now, the ticket agent doesn't need to know that I flew Northwest, Continental, Alsaka Air, and maybe a couple Virgins while Delta was on strike. Merry Berry was smoking crack with a prostitute. That's a little more "little white lie" than I was talking about. And Billy Clint was doing wrong while IN a relationship. I said between. Try again, Gartrell.
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  angela

  7 months ago

  So Jock, what if your sig O were to ask you a blatant question. I.e. did you sleep with THAT (that one right there with the long hair, green eyes, ss#123456789). Would silence be your response, or would you give full disclosure?
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  That One

  7 months ago

  Nice article, I like the "dual" concept...
  
  In relationships there are always two sides to everything. I think the reality is that people are people and we do very irrational things in a very unpredictable frequency, that being said, one of the best ways to keep a relationship (if thats what both parties want, because alot of times deep down so one usually has ?'s) together is to generally follow your heart. If your heart leads you out of your ex's arms d!ck/p*ssy 1st into your next few suitors then atleast thats where you wanted to be, but if that person means something to you, dont play the revenge card because generally that backfires and creates the inseperable divide because someone feels they were driven to do something they wouldnt usually do creating guilt...
  
  Ok, that was longer that I expected..
  
  Nice Blog
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  missC

  7 months ago

  I say keep it honest... if you don't want to tell the truth about something the reality is that you probably shouldn't be doing (or have done) it. That being said the bigger issue about telling the truth is that when you don't tell someone the truth, you effectually make a decision for them. I personally don't like people making decisions for me, I'd rather know the truth so I can decide for myself if it is a truth I'm comfortable with living with. When you lie in a relationship, it will eventually come out and then that is when people begin making new decisions... usually one's to walk away.
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  Jock Roqoff

  7 months ago

  Angela:
  
  Long hair and green eyes? Why can't she have a short natural and chocolate brown skin? Why are you trying to play the race card here? I obviously can't respond rationally to someone who's so obviously a colorist.
  
  
  But in all seriousness, If your sig O asks you a question, you have a responsibility to answer honestly. I'm not advocating deceit here. Just a less possessively jealous feeling of entitlement to know (or share) every detail.
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  Gordon Gartrell

  7 months ago

  And a good day to you too sir. I would like to rebut your previous claims in an improvisational rhythmic manner. In terms to your claim about not” vomiting out your private relationships wherein they don't affect the current one” honesty about your past Quagmire activities is not just the best policy, it is the only policy. Many times people either create troubles by lying or only compound their troubles by lying. Why is honesty the best policy, even while on a break? Honesty shows integrity and character. I guess that is one of many elements that is missing from relationships: integrity and character. Adultland is not for everyone.
  
  Even while you are on a break a man/woman should always conduct themselves as if they have morals and sense. Your activity during the era of your “private relationships” affects your current one. Your activity in the past is definitely prologue. In relationships people need to know what exactly they are getting involved with. I’m not saying become an over analytical CSI agent, but if you had a lifestyle that goes against my belief system and morals, then I would like to know. Secrets, lying, and questionable past activities are for kids and childish. When I became a man...I put away childish things.
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  Me

  7 months ago

  But doesn't it just boil down to this: a whore will not feel comfortable disclosing his/her past activities, whereas a person who practices more restraint will?
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  Jock Roqoff

  7 months ago

  You seem like the kind of guy who hacks into his girl's myspace page because he doesn't trust her. Just saying. Just a feeling.
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  CocoaDiva

  7 months ago

  I mean I agree with Jock...why you gotta know erry thing. If you have turned over a new leaf and previously your business card said "Specialty: Hoeation and Birthday Cakes" Why do you have to get into the specifics. I don't want to know you saw more cheeks than a doctor performing physicals. As long as we get you tested...I don't want to know.
  
  And what is the point of asking if you slept with a specific person.....you will regret it later and wonder was it good to them...why did they stop....how did it happen...blah blah...downward spiral. Stop the ride I want to get off.
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  MzCeo

  7 months ago

  There are definitely two sides to every story and then there's the truth! I have to say I agree with a little bit of all of you. I think women think we want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth but then we can't handle it when the truth is dished out with a spoon. Also, sometimes as women we inquire about things that we shouldn't concern ourselves with. However, on the other hand fellas, if your girl asks a question regarding what you may have done specifically whether it's when you were together or separated, you ought to be truthful with her. It's selfish and unfair to deny her the truth and the ability to make an informed decision on her own. Be comfortable enough in your position and where you stand with her that even if you tell her the truth, though she may be hurt initially, that eventually she may allow you back into her good graces because she wants and not because she was tricked back into the relationship.
  
  Hint: Just keep it real!
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  Angelique

  7 months ago

  It makes no sense to dwell on the past if you're tying to progress towards the future with someone..If a SO is still questioning you about your past it's a clear sign that trust issues exist and that you have not been forgiven for past actions, although someone said they "forgave" you...(if a SO wants to know something, they should receive an honest answer).
  
  Volunteering hurtful information to get something off your chest and to "set you free" is selfish and can do more damage than intended. It's a gamble volunteering info and those who do it should be prepared for any outcome.
  
  You reap what you sow and when you do dirt it ALWAYS comes back to haunt you.
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  Anita

  7 months ago

  there is a lot of this article I just don't get but here goes...
  
  What exactly is this "on a break" business? I was always under the impression that people are either in relationships with each other, or they aren't.
  If you have a SO, and you BREAK UP, and then later decide for some reason to get back together (one of the things here I don't get, exes are automatically dead to me) then the stuff that happened while BROKEN UP does not affect current relationship. How could it be dishonest if it is none of their business?
  
  This is not the situation presented in the post however; Mr. Skanky McNasty had aready done dirt when they were together so of course the ex wouldn't trust him. He should go ahead and tell her everything, so she leaves him forever and they can finally end the tired charade they call a relationship... at least that's how it sounds to me the way you presented it, that they're better off without each other to begin with. After all there's probably a good reason they broke up in the first place.
  
  I don't care what you did before me, or if you ever tell me about it. As long as you aren't doing it on the side while you're with me and all your test results come back negative then I got nothing to complain about, so I'm certainly not going to ask for something to camplain about.
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  Rogue

  7 months ago

  Lmao @ Mr. Skanky McNasty. I totally agree Anita. I don't need to know what you did prior to me, but I do need to be able to trust you. I won't ask questions I don't want the answer to, but I also want full disclosure on poignant questions. That being said, I personally wouldn't get back together with someone who had habitually cheated on me and lied to me in the past. But different strokes for different folks and all that jazz...
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  Nia

  7 months ago

  The only time a woman should care about her man's sexual conquests while broken up, separated, on time out, or whatever you call it is if he may have been with someone controversial. Like an "ex" that he creeped with while they were together, a family member that he had a little too much interest in, or his secretary (you get the idea). But one instance that she should definitely be told is if your adventures include a sudden interest in the same sex (and don't act like it doesn't happen). That type of conquests adds a new dynamic to any situation...Other than those cases, when you are not in a relationship, you owe NO ONE an explanation of your actions.
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  swivel

  7 months ago

  she should question his past because he did that while he was with her. that's not just conquests, that's cheating. you've broken her trust. you snitch....one of two things happens, she stops speaking to you or she accepts your honesty and sticks around. you keep it from her, and she find outs from someone else? then not only will she probably leave you, but she'll think you're a peice of sh*t.
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  Nia

  7 months ago

  Maybe my point wasn't clear. If he cheats while in a relationship and they break up, what he does while broken up isn't any of her business UNLESS he was messing around with the SAME chic he was caught cheating with...That means the "side" chic could be more of an issue than he is willing to admit.
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  Rogue

  7 months ago

  Nia,
  You need to scream that from the rooftops for every man to hear. If they can understand that simple concept, dating would be much easier. Lol.
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  Lee (the Poet)

  7 months ago

  Glad to see folks trying to provoke thought, keep it up.
  PS- It should be "dual" debate, not "duel"...
  Peace!
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  Jock Roqoff

  7 months ago

  I think that was supposed to be a double entendre
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